Monday, November 8, 2010

Goa Trivia

  • Ants can find any food you drop before you finish eating or cooking, and then carry it up a wall
  • Papayas grow like weeds and smell like vomit
  • Entire families can easily fit on mopeds
  • No one has bug screens on windows and yet there are thousands of bugs out
  • Cockroaches have a shrill squeak in the middle of the night
  • Fishermen catch giant sting rays and then hit them on the heads with sticks
  • Horns are for honking all the time
  • Gypsys wear bright colors and recycle plastic and trash into all kinds of things to sell
  • Coconut tree climbers climb trees by tying their feet together
  • Wake up and smell the burning plastic and melting blue tarps
  • Tobacco and formaldehyde in your toothpaste…mmm
  • Everything is no problem…as in “Oh no, I lost my baggage!” “That is no problem madam.”
  • Construction workers don’t own any tools and ask you for hammers or wrenches
  • Pigs with big udders can run like the wind
  • Marble floors and concrete walls painted in bright colors can collect mold very quickly
  • Electrical outlets in the shower are a bad idea that someone forgot to tell Indian electricians
  • News travels faster in a village than gossip on facebook
  • Monsoons can really put a damper on things
  • Sleeping on wet mattresses is a kind of torture
  • Washing clothes in a bucket makes you really not want to wash clothes
  • Delhi Belly can really cramp your style
  • Rupees are often counterfeit and Indians won’t take them if they have even the tiniest rip on the edge
  • You can cook literally hundreds of things using only onions, garlic, tomatoes, potatoes and 200 spices
  • Electricity is something that comes and goes, and comes and goes
  • A vendors’ best selling tactic is yelling at you. The louder the better.
  • Cows have the right of way
  • Gunpowder is an ingredient in some recipes (optional, I hope?)
  • Standing in line is something that has not been invented. Just rush it.
  • Toilet paper is a commodity, but you can’t flush it
  • Traffic lights do not exist; traffic lanes and laws are a suggestion not a requirement
  • If you are a vendor’s first customer of the day, you can really bargain with them since it is bad luck for them if you don’t buy anything. Don’t worry---they mark everything up 500%
  • Shaking your head back and forth does not mean no
  • Cricket is like weird baseball and Indians are fanatics about it
  • Fireworks are for any occasion, really
  • You can blast any cheesy music on repeat all day if you own a set of bad speakers
  • Wells are where old men take baths, in front of our house
  • The breadman rides his bicycle with a bread basket by twice a day honking a bozo the clown horn. Buns cost 2.5 rupees each, but he will try to get you to buy them for 4.
  • Take off your shoes when you go into any store or stall, and don’t worry if a guy is welding over the entrance, just try to dodge the falling sparks and don’t look at the light
  • Ants and other bugs float. Rocks don’t.
  • Spiders come in all sizes, including the size of your hand
  • Earth-moving equipment = guys with buckets on their heads
  • It is good to name your taxi, laundrymat, breakfast cereals, and children after your favorite god


    Wednesday, November 3, 2010

    Monsoon Goodness

    Today the monsoon rains came back. They had meditation on the roof, in the sunshine, and I missed it because of dealing with kids who weren’t cooperating. After the meditation time, I came up to have lunch with everyone, and then the rains came. A few people from outside the community had come to the meditation---a girl from Germany, one from India, and one from Japan. Once the rain started, it was dumping buckets and there was no leaving the shelter of the roof without getting drenched. Saraya and Kenya decided that being drenched was good, and danced in the rain for hours with Daisy, the girl from India. Everyone found someone to chat with. We were all trapped there, and I spent all afternoon talking with the photographer girl from Japan. She said she has been to India many times, searching for spirituality, photographing travelers. This time in India, she keeps meeting people who follow Jesus and it has really been affecting her. She said she went to Catholic school in Japan and knew some Bible stories, but had no idea what Christianity was all about at its core. I tried my best to distill it for her. Then she said to me, “So, Jesus came as the sacrifice to pay for everyone, and all you have to do is believe. This is what it means. I have never understood this until now.”  She had tears in her eyes when she left.
    Yes, that is the good news; that God so loved the world that He gave His only son, so that whoever believes in Him might not perish but have eternal life, and that God came into the world not to condemn the world but to save it. It is good news in India and in Japan and in Jerusalem and San Francisco. I am glad I could be here, blessed that I got to be the one to tell her that. Me, the one who never knows how to start conversations with strangers. I feel happy and humbled.

    Tuesday, October 26, 2010

    So far…

    We have arrived safe in India. We live in the little Catholic grotto called Girkar Waddo of the small fishing village of Arambol, Goa. Every year at dry season this little village is overrun by foreign travelers, who rent out houses and scooters and buy chai and clothes and everything touristy on the main street. We are some of those people this year.

    Rachel says the Indian people here get a bit protective of ‘their’ foreigners (“I saw them first!”), and our Indians are named Rosario & Maria. They have 3 children and live in the back part of the house that they rent to us. The state of Goa was colonized by the Portuguese, so many of the people have Spanish sounding names even though they look totally Indian. And about half of the people here are Catholic, in a very Indian sort of way, with altars, temples, rituals, bright colors, superstitions. The houses you can rent have altars in them, which you are not allowed to touch or change, no matter how tacky they may be. These things make for a very different sort of India than the rest of the country.

    The beach is about ½ mile from our house and the water is warm with plenty of starfish and boogie boarding. There are huts and restaurant huts on the beach, with fabulous Indian food. Sanjay is the owner of the place we like to go. He let one of the loose beach dogs have puppies in his restaurant, so the kids love to go there and play with them as much as possible. The good times are plentiful.

    The trash is also plentiful, since there is no trash pick up here. Everything burnable is burned every day, and even things that shouldn’t be burned. Plastic is everywhere. Trash is everywhere. The smell of toxic smoke permeates the air, but thankfully usually happens only in the evening. Pigs and cows and dogs and rats roam around freely, eating whatever is their hearts delight.

    Every year during the rainy season (monsoon), mold takes over Arambol and everything decays. Houses have to be painted every year or they are covered in black smut. All the cushions and clothes and fabrics are mildewed. It rained for a few days when we first got here, but is now clear. Many of the locals speak some English, and all they  talk to us about is how much rain the monsoon brought this year, how crazy it is. Blue tarps and parts of tarps are hanging all over the place, hopefully to be taken down when the rain stops for good.

    Right now Saraya is at the back of the house with Nikita and Cressida, two Indian girls with whom she has made friends. They were playing hide-and-seek, but now I think they are painting her nails. The Indian girls and women here are so beautiful. One of the fisherwomen has hazel/green eyes, which is shocking with her leathery dark brown skin. I really want to get a picture of her.

    Yesterday, Jacob gave me my first scooter riding lesson. The Indian guys all laughed at me. I think I would have laughed at me too. We’ll see how I progress with that one.

    Also yesterday, Rachel and I went to Mapusa (pronounced mopsa), which is a bigger city about a half an hour away. We went to the market. It was kind of like Denio’s meets Mad Max. I don’t know what to say about it, it was just crazy. Rachel says its nothing compared to Varanasi or Delhi. I can’t even comprehend how crazy those places must be. The day before, Jacob, Chinua and Shlomy all took scooters to Mapusa. The police tried to stop them, and even grabbed Shlomy, but thankfully he got away. I guess it’s common here for the police to be thieves. They stop you if you are a foreigner and make you pay them to let go. So if they try to pull you over, you just wave, floor it, and keep going. This is India.

    The food is amazing. I mean amazing. And Josiah can eat most things here, even though he is allergic to wheat, corn, soy, and nuts. Rachel knows how to cook many incredible things and Shlomy too, so I am hoping to come back with the plethora of good recipes. Our friends here run a Christian meditation center on their roof, and after meditation time  every day we have a big meal with everyone. Not too many travelers are here yet, and the meetings haven’t started, but I know things are ramping up.

    Cate says I should start a business dreading people’s hair and make a ton of money. The Russians would go crazy for it. Maybe I will. I tried to locate some henna at the market yesterday, and found some, but it was questionable. I will have to keep looking. Living in India without henna would be quite a sad situation.

    The other night at Sanjay’s we met some travelers from Iran. They were so hospitable and fun. One of the guys was a rap singer who rapped in Farsi. He told us he spent three years in prison in Iran for his music. It is illegal there even to listen to any non-Muslim music, so he went to jail because he sings rap. They are waiting for a revolution in Iran. The girl who was with them wore a ton of makeup and a gold-sequined mini-skirt. Someone said that ‘this is what the girls in Iran are really like underneath their burkas.’ I believe it.

    Friday, October 15, 2010

    Goin' to Goa

    We're getting ready to go. Craziness is going to start building up.
    One of the things we wanted to do was start a blog, so here it is. Check! On to the next thing, which would be to let you all know that we are here...